Somehow it’s been 20 years since my injury, and I still feel like I’m just out of college. It’s funny how time works like that…

As I reflect on the 20th anniversary of my accident, I think of it with two different perspectives: the KBF over this time and my personal growth and change over this time. Ultimately, you can’t uncouple one from the other, but they still feel distinct in many ways, so I’d like to take the time to reflect on both.

I have a clear memory of sitting in my rehab hospital room a couple of months after my accident, brainstorming with my family about what we want the Kelly Brush Foundation to do. The two missions we have today – safety in ski racing and providing access to adaptive sports for people with spinal cord injuries (SCI) – are the exact same ones that we dreamt up all those years ago. It’s amazing – and so cool – to me how clear it was to us then and how relevant that has remained for 20 years.

People often ask me if I thought the KBF would be where we are today. The simple answer is no. The more complicated answer is that I never saw a limit to KBF, and I thought we could do anything we wanted, especially because of the incredible supporters who wanted to help us make it happen.

I could rattle off stats on the lives we’ve changed, the people we’ve reached, and the organizations we’ve partnered with, but what is most meaningful to me is the people I’ve connected with, the community we’ve created, and the joy and energy it all brings me. It’s the supporters of the KBF that we met years ago and who have become dear friends that I got to see in Park City this winter – people I never would have met had it not been for the KBF. It’s the girls I met at the camp I went to a couple of years ago (read the blog here) with teenagers who had recent injuries. What I took away from them and that camp was just as great as what they got from me. It’s the parents coming up to me at ski races thanking me for the work we do, because they feel better about having their kids race because of the work we are doing. It’s the conversation I have with someone who is newly injured, and when I hang up, I know they are in a better place than they were before.

We do a lot of good with our work at the KBF, but the value I take from that work is just as great. Dylan, my 9-year-old, recently asked me if I could change my life and never have my accident, would I have done that? It’s a complicated question because, on the one hand, would I give up all of the annoying and hard parts of having a spinal cord injury? Hell yes. But had I not had my accident, I would never have impacted the SCI community in all of the incredible ways we have and changed the culture of ski racing to focus on safety. But more importantly for me, I wouldn’t have this cause that gives me so much.

Before I started this blog, I read back on my 10th anniversary blog to see what my reflections were at that time. Here is a quote from that blog:

But today I do have hopes for the next 10 years: I hope I’m skiing, handcycling, golfing, and doing other sports I’ve never even tried; I hope I continue to be healthy; I hope Zeke and I have a happy 9 year-old girl, perhaps with a younger sibling who gives her a run for her money on the ski slope; and I hope the Kelly Brush Foundation is able to help everyone that finds themselves faced with the same challenge I faced, get where I am today.

Well, it appears that I did a good job manifesting my life because so much of that has come to fruition! I indeed do have a healthy 9-year-old daughter who is being chased around the mountain, fields, and trails by her 6-year-old sister. I am still skiing, handcycling, and golfing (though neither as much as I’d like), and mountain biking more than ever, a sport I had never tried at the time of that blog. I am healthy with only a few hiccups over the last 10 years. And the KBF has made a greater impact than I could have ever imagined.

Beyond these, I’m proudest of the growth I’ve had as an individual. I have become a mom, a nurse practitioner, a founder, and a leader of a national nonprofit. With each of these accomplishments, I have looked to myself to understand not only what is filling me up but what is allowing me to live the life I want to live. When I made the decision to leave my job as a nurse practitioner almost three years ago, it was not because I didn’t love the work I was doing; it was because I knew I could give more of myself and get more in return by not spreading myself too thin. When I leave my kids at home and travel for KBF for 10 or more days at a time, it’s because I know how much impact my presence will make and the joy I will receive in return. And when I make the choice to skip something for KBF to stay home and watch my kids ski race or compete in a spelling bee, it’s because of the overwhelming love I have for them and the pride I see in their eyes when they run up to me when they are done.

I have spent the last 20 years learning how to look inside myself and follow my gut as my north start and I have never been happier with the place I am in life right now.

So I will end this blog with the same exercise that I did in my 10th anniversary blog. In 20 years from now: I hope I have healthy 29- and 26-year-olds who are finding their own paths in life; I hope I’m skiing, mountain biking, golfing (more than I do now!), and doing other sports I’ve never even tried; I hope I’m healthy and my shoulders haven’t worn out yet; I hope I’m continuing to find the joy in every relationship, adventure, and new experience I find; and I hope the KBF has transformed the world to embrace and support people with disabilities in every area of life, and made ski racing as safe as it possibly can be.

20 years ago, I was a college student standing in the starting gate of an NCAA ski race with a full life ahead of me and endless possibilities. Today at 39, I still feel like I have a life ahead of me with endless possibilities, but what I’m looking forward to the most is finding the joy each day, making the world a little brighter, and spending time with the people who make it all so meaningful. This is all made possible because of the work I do with the KBF, and for that I’m eternally grateful.

Follow Kelly on Instagram to see all the amazing things she’s doing! While you’re there, be sure to check out her latest post for even more photos and heartfelt reflections from the past 20 years.

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